i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is classic penis vs brain.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
