Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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