hotel room ftw
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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