my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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