she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
