Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
