i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
