we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
