Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize