lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
