Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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