no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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