dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
