I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
