Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
