Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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