i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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