Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
