The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
