we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
its liver damage thursday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
