Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
