Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
