This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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