Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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