I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
