Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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