So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
