I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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