I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
