i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
