4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
