I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
