chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
