Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
