Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
