When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
