The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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