Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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