need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
