Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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