i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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