Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
