I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
