Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
