I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
