Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
