remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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