I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
