Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
