going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize