Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
