I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
