The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Porn is love you can see.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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