"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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