Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize