He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
