she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
