Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
