I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize