I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
