the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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