this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
