I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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