So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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