woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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