I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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