So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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