Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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