Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
