just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
