sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
