Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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